Spending the night alone
Ono Karori
A daughter born in the season when morning dew can be seen
When I went outside, the chrysanthemums were already blooming.
On the last day of the anniversary, we held the Autumn/Winter New Works Exhibition and the Masayoshi Kudo Exhibition, and from this weekend, the exhibition of Haiiro Ookami + Flower Shop Nishibetsu Shoten will begin.
I am now truly grateful to my family and those around me who support me through these hectic days.
Giving birth by cesarean section for the fifth time
I look back on the events of just a few hours, in which I realized my weaknesses were only revealed by being alone.
The night before surgery
Despite taking sleeping pills, I can't fall asleep and wake up several times every few hours, waiting for the morning to come.
"Please take it easy. I've had cases in the past where someone went into labour the night before surgery and had to be taken to another hospital."
Was it because those worrying words were stuck in my mind?
Even though I was just feeling kicking and moving around in my stomach, I thought it might be labor pains and woke up several times.
Even so, he doesn't seem nervous, and even when the surgery comes around, his heart rate doesn't increase and he remains calm. "I'm used to it now."
I took it literally.
The smallest baby born out of the five
The moment he came out of the womb, his breathing was shallow and his blood sugar level was low, so I couldn't see his face.
On the other hand, the mother's uterus was not contracting properly, and the stitches could not be stopped from bleeding, so the surgery took longer than usual.
While you lose sensation, your uterus is contracting and working hard to return to normal.
But the conversations flying around make me feel uneasy
Although the anesthesia is not painful, the groove is pressed and the discomfort increases.
In these difficult times, the faces of my children come to mind.
The moment you slowly inhale and exhale
I was able to accept that, "Oh, I was scared."
I was feeling a bit anxious about my fifth surgery.
I had a strong desire to get the surgery done without any problems at the hospital I go to.
I realized that this feeling was an attachment and was causing me suffering.
I just need to face each and every thing that happens in front of me.
I look at myself and realize that I spent the night before alone in an imaginary world.
However, when you are in the middle of it all, you don't notice things...
I realized that these small attachments exist in our daily lives.
At the end, I felt a deep sense of accomplishment as if I had attained enlightenment while looking up at the ceiling of the operating room.
Then, did he finally relax when he saw the baby's face?
With relief, the tension is released
My mind and body, which are usually calm after surgery, were completely exhausted this time.
A daughter born into this world
Life has just begun, and everything is new
The real joy of life is to fully enjoy what is in front of you.
Apparently he told me first.
Ono Kaori
