What my chronic illness has made me realize

The Tono Masayoshi exhibition came to a close yesterday on warm days.

On the first Saturday and Sunday, we will be having lunch and coffee with Oak People from Shodoshima.

There were lots of smiles in full bloom as people held rasa and chai, as well as gentle baked goods in a variety of flavors.

And on the final Saturday and Sunday, there will be a kaiseki luncheon meal, December Lunch, prepared by Kaminokawa Maichuune.

During your maternity leave, you were on childcare leave, and this visit to Utsushiki marked your return to work.

We had a party where every dish was a beautiful sight!

It was a very eventful exhibition.

Thank you to everyone who came to visit us (including those who have visited us multiple times).

In contrast to the constant blue skies throughout the event, it has become chilly since the event closed today.

The weather has suddenly changed from high pressure, which is not what you would expect in December, to low pressure, and heavy rain has continued.

Embarrassingly, perhaps the difference in condition threw me off balance, as my chronic condition worsened late this evening into the early hours of the morning, and I was unable to breathe, so I had to go to the hospital.

In fact, the same thing happened a while ago.

I don't usually catch colds or epidemics.

I have a certain pride in myself, saying, "I'm strong and full of body and spirit."

No, no, wait.

I have only just realized that I have been ignoring the chronic illness I have had since I was two years old and the discomfort caused by allergies to mold, dust mites, house dust, and pollen, as I have just assumed they are ``normal.''

Looking back on November, including the series of emergency visits this time and the series of sleepless nights I had even though I didn't end up needing emergency care,
I spent time being forced to reflect on the cause.

When you do that, you think

Of course, there are final triggers such as seasonal changes and temperature changes.

The invisible causes of both are physical fatigue and mental exhaustion.

However, I felt like I was "unwillingly forcing myself"

It's hard to realize this because it's not an admission of "actually, I worked really hard"...

For better or worse, only you know the condition of your body and your voice.

Even if you can't breathe or speak,

At first, my family, who didn't know about my symptoms, thought, "Maybe he's just breathing heavily in his sleep?" (I'm grateful that they carried him to the hospital in the end.)

Even if people suffer from mold or air pollution, those who do not experience it cannot understand the true extent of the problem.

If you worry about it, you may be told, "That's all? That's an exaggeration."

Of course, the reverse is also true.

This is the same as saying that people have different values ​​and ways of thinking.

It is obvious that "bodily sensations" differ from person to person, just like opinions and values.

Even though I have learned about and practiced the allowances,

I had overlooked the chronic illnesses and characteristics that I had had since childhood.

This time, try to reflect on yourself.

I also realized that I had been dominated by the feeling, "I'll try not to say anything if possible (because I don't want to seem like an exaggerator and it's embarrassing). It'll work out somehow."

But in reality, it is none other than you who is exposed to dangers, big and small.

What must we do to protect our own life and health?

What can I do and what can't I do?

What is something that you really dislike?

...This is no time to worry about what others or society think!

We always

I'm so focused on trying to expand my "tiny tolerance level"

It is equally important to accept that "this is okay, this is who I am."

I think that's true for a lot of people, but for me too

When you have trouble laughing during a conversation (or when you try really hard to laugh),

If your memory of the timeline or conversations (what you said) becomes vague,

It's a sign that you're tired

I was able to try to notice it seriously, without feeling embarrassed (which is difficult), or making a joke.

However, I don't think this is something that happens frequently throughout the year, so it's a good opportunity to think about it carefully!

I hold a meditation tea ceremony called "New Moon/Full Moon Marker" at the new moon and full moon under the name of Ma.

I've been taking a break for the past six months, but I feel like it's finally time for me to take a break.

Rather than carving out special times, it is important to create time and space in your daily life to make adjustments.

A gentle method that doesn't cause major shifts or creaking.

It doesn't have to be meditation though.

When your body is unstable, there is a high probability that your mind will also be unstable.

This can also lead to saying things you didn't mean or saying unnecessary things.

I want to talk to my body and feel lighter today, ready for tomorrow.

Noserumi