The summer that ran through

These days, the sounds of insects that I hear in the mornings and evenings when I'm in a light sleep tell me that autumn is on its way, and it makes me feel a sense of indescribable loneliness.

Perhaps because autumn is the season I was born in, I never felt lonely in my childhood, and I remember spending autumn feeling the same as summer, but now that I've had many different life experiences, I've become an adult who truly understands loneliness!

Our energetic 5-year-old son is no exception!

Even though it may be autumn, I am still living this moment to the fullest.

At the nursery school my child attended, nap times were no longer allowed starting in July in preparation for starting primary school. This, combined with the intense heat of summer, caused his physical and mental strength to become completely thrown off balance.

If he's not feeling well, he's fussy from the moment you pick him up from nursery school, and he'll start crying like a baby over the smallest of things.

On the other hand, I fell asleep while stuffing my face with snacks.

There were days when my husband would carry me to his futon, saying, "You must be really tired."

It was because he was giving his all that he realized the importance of sleep, and this became the catalyst for him to change his daily routine.

Meanwhile

After the Obon holidays, my son started going to school by bus, and seeing him look so happy, I couldn't help but think about how he was gradually becoming independent from his parents.

And I am really surprised at how selfish I am, but in the past,

"I can't go where I want because I have kids."

"I can't do anything."

And, he always used the excuse of his children.

Only now do I realize that I was simply afraid to take action myself, and so I used my children as an excuse not to take action in order to protect myself .

When I actually try to do this, the children cheer me on and it becomes a place for me to return to.

Recently, I realized that it is thanks to my family that I am able to do the work I love, and it almost makes me want to curse my stupidity...

Yes, this summer I was able to do what I love with all my might.

Not just about what you like or your job

With the mothers I met at the summer festival, I was sad to see each event come to an end until graduation.

I've been trying to figure out with friends who have kids the same age what color school backpacks they should get.

It's only because I have my son that I'm able to have such trivial exchanges!

I also spent the summer running around doing the things I love.

Well, the new month has begun.

I hope you all have a wonderful week♡

Mariko Tanoue