The love of scolding

These days, I look up at the bare Zelkova tree covered in dead leaves in the garden and hunch my shoulders in the cold.

Last week, a lukewarm wind blew, unusual for December, but on Sunday morning a thin layer of snow piled up, bringing both our minds and bodies straight into the end of the year.

There are only two weeks left in 2023.
Christmas is approaching in our house.

"How much longer until Christmas?"

My son seemed unable to wait.
The remaining two weeks are likely to pass like a festival.

Looking back at this year, I really did a lot of traveling.

Exhibitions will be held in Utsushiki as well as Kyoto, Miyagi, Aichi and Tokyo.

Before and after that, I stopped off in Osaka, Nara, Ibaraki, Kagawa, and Shizuoka.

On my personal time, I went to Oita and Kumamoto.

I was grateful to be able to go to all of these events with my family.

For better or worse, traveling can throw off balance and affect your physical and mental health, and I think this year I learned that the changes in my 4-year-old son, who is in the midst of growth, can be a source of anguish as well as joy for a parent.

My son tends to spoil himself when we travel, so he expects to be treated the same way when we get home.

Lately, "no one listens to me"
When they realize that their wishes are not being fulfilled, they may lose control and throw a tantrum...

"Did we raise our children wrong?"

I can't help but think about this when my son has a tantrum and the three of us aren't all at the table, or when he eats with a gloomy look on his face.

I chose this lifestyle because I wanted to prioritize making things with my family and spending time with them.
If the three of us couldn't sit around the dinner table laughing, it would be a complete waste!
I thought about this and for days I found myself unable to scold my son.

My husband and I wondered if this was the right thing to do.

The Ono family has five children and are experienced in child-rearing. Looking at the children, I've noticed that even if one of their wishes isn't fulfilled, children will cry for a while, but if they find a new game to play with, they'll suddenly smile.

Even if they get scolded, the next moment they'll be eating something delicious and laughing.

There is no right way to raise children, and it may depend on the child's innate personality and whether or not they have older or younger siblings, but I believe that children have the ability to live in a good mood more than adults realise.

If you don't scold them and listen to everything they say, they won't get fussy, they won't throw tantrums, they won't waste time, they'll be able to laugh, and it'll be easy...

This could rob my son of the strength to survive on his own and the ability to cheer himself up.

My husband often tells our son,

"The reason why Gian's mother gets angry is because she loves Gian very much."

It's about conveying more than just kindness.

Is it love that seeks to control and subjugate the child, or is it love that does not?

What I've learned most recently from watching my son is that this is something that children naturally pick up on.

It's important for a mother to always smile like the sun, but sometimes she wants to continue to show her love like Gian's mother.

The year-end and New Year holidays are a time when you spend a lot of time with family, friends, loved ones, and loved ones.

Let's share our love and have a heartwarming New Year♡

Thank you for this year!

Mariko Tanoue