Dialogue - Miho Ota -

Thinking about life and death

" Voice Workshop and Concert " held in June 2019.
The concert was hosted by Saori Tashiro, a permanent member of the Utsushiki staff, and was Ota Miho's first solo concert.

The album " Kyoumei ", which is a compilation of live recordings, is chock full of piano sounds and vocals that were born in that moment.
The new album was recorded over several days on the piano of Utsushiki. Rather than thinking of something concrete, he surrendered to the flow of the moment, and each song was completed based on the melody that emerged from the space of Utsushiki.
Time has passed since then, and Utsushiki has produced their second album.

What was your mindset going into this production?

"When I was making the album 'Kyoumei', I felt like I wanted to express something of us resonating with each other as sound, with Saori right in front of me.

With Saori watching over us from heaven, and our daughter Nonohana now living in this situation, I wanted to translate the happy "kiki" into the "kiki" of the happy person, and turn our current life at Utsushiki and the feelings we all create and share together into the sound of bright sunshine."

The theme of the album is "ceremony." "These days, it seems all over the place, with all sorts of religious names, but rituals have existed in different forms in every country since ancient times, and I wanted to express that in the setting of Utsushiki. Maybe it's because I had the image of creating something that can be understood with people who are not in the real world."

Don't be afraid to open up

Miho says she doesn't think about anything when she sings. "The moment I start singing, it's not me, it becomes the music."

Death and illness are not things from a distant world; they are always close to us.

You may be involved in a traffic accident tomorrow. Your illness may progress without you realizing it.

That day will come suddenly.

"I always thought I'd get cancer someday, but I thought it would happen when I was older. What's more, the tumor developed in my throat, the place I least wanted to harm. At first I was surprised, thinking that I might lose my voice, but rather than feeling like I was in shock, I felt more like it was a moment of rebirth.

After I announced it on Instagram, I ended up worrying the people around me more than I imagined. At the same time, I received encouragement from a lot of people. Everyone taught me the importance of taking action and that I need to convey my feelings, and I gained a lot from that."

What lies beyond those words

The first day was blessed with fine weather and they toured the mountains and rivers, but on the last day, heavy snow piled up during filming. With temperatures in the single digits, they walked barefoot through the mountains and even had a scene where they plunged their feet into the river water. "There are times when I create a directing element, but before that, I feel like I'm being controlled by something other than my will, like 'I want to raise my hand like this' or 'I want to touch the leaves'. I wonder, is it just my body that's controlling me?"

Miho says she is grateful to have had the illness.

It is also an opportunity for me to accept my fate and to reexamine my future steps as an artist.

"I don't know how my throat will change after the surgery. But even if I really lose my voice, I think I'll be okay now. It's not because I've sung so much that I want to stop singing, but because there are more things I want to do, and I believe that my ability to express myself will continue to expand even without using my voice.

"There's nothing unpleasant about talking about my illness, and I'm not particularly worried. I do worry about whether my children will be okay while I'm away, but I feel much more joy. That's something everyone has taught me, and I think the timing was right when I was ready to accept it."

I want to support the people I love to shine

"I like baby's breath more than roses," says Miho. "Maybe there's a part of me that wants to go it alone and live life to the fullest, but I like being able to support people in their moments of vitality and shining."

If you were in the same position, would you be able to face the things you can no longer do while also turning your attention to new things you want to do?

When we look at ourselves and encounter situations that make us feel discouraged or down, where does the strength come from to look forward?

"I don't particularly consider myself mentally strong. But, you know? I think that my desire to reach out and share is stronger than most people's. Lending a helping hand takes a lot of strength, doesn't it? But it's something I love to do, and I believe it's my calling. Maybe that's why I appear strong to those around me."

Leaving the journey so far in the form of a work of art

The album "Kiki" was Miho's last album before she underwent throat surgery.

"I think of this cancer as a scab. It's been protecting my wound for a long time, but now it can no longer protect it and it has burst out.

Along with that part of my body, I put the culmination of my life so far, both the good and the bad, into this album."
"I hope that this album will reach someone at some point in time and that it will provide them with a little encouragement," Miho added.